Foreign Affairs
by falcon-121
Summary: In the midst of heartbreaking events, can Hotch and JJ find a way to heal?
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **_**Foreign Affairs**_

**AN: The prompt in the "One-Shot Fridays" thread of the CM message board this week was centered around writing a one-shot that fit with lyrics to a certain song. I decided to take this idea one step further by writing a story with four chapters for the prompt. Each chapter is focused on a different song. The title of the fic serves a few purposes. First, each song that I will use for this fic is a Foreigner song (starting off with "Head Games" in this first chapter). Secondly, it sort of symbolizes the situation of the two main characters in this piece (Hotch and JJ). They are dealing with some strange/unique situations throughout this piece; foreign situations, so to speak. Please feel free to review, I love getting any type of feedback! *DISCLAIMER* I do not own Criminal Minds or any songs by Foreigner. "Head Games" was written by Lou Gramm and Mick Jones.**

Aaron Hotchner was a strong man, a determined man. He had a fire deep inside that was fueled by every single passion in his life. His drive to be the best father, the best husband, the best agent shoved him forward no matter how rough things got. However, the balance between family and work is an intricate one, and for a man like Aaron this balance could easily be disturbed.

_Daylight, alright_

_I don't know, I don't know if it's real_

_Been a long night and something ain't right_

_You won't show, you won't show how you feel_

"Haley, I'm home," Aaron called as he dropped his suitcase to the left of the front door. After two long weeks working a case in Chicago, haggard would have been a generous word to describe him. He frowned as his wife was nowhere to be seen.

"Haley," he called again, uncertainty creeping into his voice, "Honey, where are you?"

She emerged from the living room, but the look on her face was far from the joy of seeing her husband.

"Hi," she said. The frown that had disappeared from his face returned upon this halfhearted greeting.

"Is everything ok," he asked.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I made a plate for you, it's in the fridge."

"Thank you," he said. He sensed that something was wrong, but figured that it could wait until she was ready to talk. He walked towards the kitchen so that he could eat, she silently accompanying him.

_No time ever seems right_

_To talk about the reasons why you and I fight_

_It's high time to draw the line_

_Put an end to this game before it's too late_

He slid the scraps into the trash can and placed the dishes in the sink before slumping into his seat. He closed his eyes, completely exhausted. Then he heard it. The dreaded sound, the sound that he knew he couldn't handle again tonight. The sigh that escaped her lips was a dead giveaway of what was coming next. He opened his eyes slowly and looked at his wife.

"What's wrong, sweetheart," he asked.

Another sigh, followed by silence.

"Please, Haley, I can't read your mind."

"Thought you were a profiler," she quipped.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I know all of your thoughts. Besides, I try to profile you as little as possible."

"That's comforting," she said, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

"Did I do something wrong," he asked. He already knew the answer, he had heard it so many times before.

"I wish that you would quit that job of yours."

"You know I can't do that."

"Why not, Aaron," she asked, voice raising a tad, "You could transfer to another job. One with more stable hours. One that doesn't send you to Chicago one week and San Francisco the next."

"My team needs me, Haley."

"Can't you see? _We_ need you! I miss you, Aaron. _Jack_ misses you, too!"

"Haley, ple--"

"No. You need to hear this, Aaron. You seem to be more in love with your job than your own family!"

"That's not true!"

"Is it not," she asked, tears starting to spring to her eyes, "Because sometimes it sure as hell seems like it!"

"I love you and I love Jack. It's just--"

"It's what, Aaron? You love us, but you would rather be out of town than see us? Is that it?!"

"No! I love both of you with everything I've got, Haley! I do this job for you, for you and Jack! I do it to protect you, to keep you safe! And yeah, I can't stop them all, but I can sure as hell try!"

"We need you here, Aaron."

"I wish I could be two places at once, but I can't! I have to do this job. I have to do it for you, for Jack, for myself. And I can't abandon my team... Not after all we've been through."

She let out a deep sigh before getting up from her seat and walking towards their bedroom. Aaron got up and followed her, but she slammed the door in his face and locked it. He thought about talking through the door, but what was the use?

_I daydream for hours it seems_

_I keep thinkin' of you, yeah, thinkin' of you_

_These daydreams, what do they mean?_

_They keep haunting me, are they warning me?_

The next morning came quick and he was right back to the source of the problem, the BAU. However, he couldn't focus on the job at all. Images of Haley kept floating through his head, clouding his vision. The argument from last night. The dozens of arguments before it of similar topic and tone.

Nevertheless, not all of the memories were bad. He recalled the play in high school where he first met his love. The long, joyful honeymoon to the Bahamas. They had been young, without a care in the world. What happened?

"Hotch?"

"Huh," he mumbled self-consciously.

"You ok," Jennifer Jareau asked, a puzzled look on her face.

"Oh, yes," he said, scrambling for what to say, "I'm fine. Sorry, please continue."

Her blue eyes revealed her concern, but she did continue on as told.

"Like I was saying, this Unsub has..."

He tried to fight off the longing to drift off again, to revisit more of the good memories, but he couldn't hold it off. He was helplessly in love with her, which only left him with the most difficult decision of his life.

_So near, so far away_

_We pass each other by 'cause we don't know what to say_

_It's so clear, I'm sorry to say_

_But if you wanna' win you gotta learn how to play_

_Head games, always you and me, baby_

_Head games, 'til I can't take it anymore_

_Head games, instead of makin' love_

_Head games, ooh_

Aaron approached their bed that night and sat on the corner of Haley's side of it.

"Baby," he said, "I'm sorry about last night."

"So am I," she said, "But the problem still exists."

"I know. Maybe we can talk about it tomorrow."

"Maybe." She yawned. "Good night, Aaron."

"Good night." He climbed into the other side of the bed, pulled the covers up, and tried to grab what little shut-eye he could.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Chapter 2 is set to the song "Fool For You Anyway." As usual, I do not own CM or the lyrics to the song I'm using (which was also written by Mick Jones). Like before, I skipped some lyrics (just trying to use the relevant ones). I apologize for the long wait, school has gotten in the way a lot more than I'd like. I may be able to finish this over spring break, though (just two more chapters after this). I thank all of you for your patience. This chapter will probably be shorter (I'm a little out of practice), but I hope you enjoy it.**

"I've been served," Aaron stated. His voice was empty, no trace of emotion. But as he viewed the stunned expressions of each member of his team, one question burned in the back of his mind: _How do I keep going without her? _The question was becoming an increasingly throbbing pain.

_Well I miss you honey_

_A little more every day_

_And I know if I kissed you_

_You'd be comin' back home to stay_

It had been two days since the divorce, and he still couldn't sleep. All he did was toss and turn. The idea of the bed being too big had become all too real for him, and a couple hours of disrupted sleep was the most that he could muster. He knew his team noticed the bags under his blood-shot eyes and the 5 o'clock shadow that had become darker as he neglected his razor. They were profilers, after all. None of this helped him sleep, however, because nothing could get his mind off of the hole left by her.

_Well I cried for you so long_

_My river of tears ran dry_

_And I tried to be so strong_

_But grew weaker as time went by_

A week had passed, but the tears still came. Usually in the morning while he sat in bed, a few droplets that sizzled on their way down his chiseled face. That was the only sign of weakness that he allowed himself. He wiped the tears away and replaced them with an icy mask. They say that time heals all, but life didn't seem to be improving. If anything, his handle on things seemed to be getting worse.

_She's just a girl, _he kept telling himself, _There are other girls out there. _

That was the problem. Deep down he knew that she wasn't "just a girl." She was the love of his life, and the void that she left seemed impossible to fill.

_You know your love left a mark on me_

_I don't think it will fade away_

_I'll sit here and wait 'til you come home_

_'Cause I'm a fool for you anyway_

_I'm a fool for you anyway_

_Fool for you anyway_

He sat in the chair of his FBI office. This room had been his sanctuary for so many years, the perfect place to clear his thoughts and regroup. But even this room wasn't powerful enough to quell his thoughts of her. The thoughts that dominated his mind, compromising his ability to concentrate. His team didn't say anything, but he knew what they were thinking. He could see it in each of their eyes. The small seeds of doubt, the pondering of whether their leader was still as focused as before. He wished that he could answer that question, but the truth was he wasn't even sure himself. He wasn't really sure about anything. It had been two weeks, and now the question that had prodded the back of his mind had shifted to the center of attention.

"How do I keep going," he asked in a whisper that only the walls heard.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: This chapter will be mainly centered around JJ, though Hotch will also be of some importance. Kind of tapping into my own creativity here and getting away from the show's actual storyline (unlike the first two chapters). For this fanfic, we'll pretend that JJ and Will are together, but JJ doesn't get pregnant (so no Henry). Chapter 3 is set to the song "Heart Turns To Stone" (written by Lou Gramm and Mick Jones). Like before, I'm only using the relevant lyrics. As always, I own neither Criminal Minds or the song. Thank you to anyone that is still reading this fic and anyone that reviewed! Without further ado, Chapter 3:**

JJ shoved the cell phone in Will's face and he knew he was in trouble.

"Who is this," she asked. She was calm, but her voice was chilled.

"Um, I ca-," he stuttered, "I can explain."

"Really," she asked, clicking some buttons on the phone.

"Yes, but, uh, can you give me my phone back..."

"Give you your phone back," she interrupted, "No, William. I'm sorry, but I can't do that. I can read a few of these text messages, though."

"You really don't hav--"

"Oh, here's a juicy one," she spat, her rage increasing steadily, "'Hi Will! I'm lonely and could use a strong man like you to keep me warm tonight. Best Western, 8 o'clock, Room 327. I'll leave it unlocked. Love, Jessie.' So, Will, was that where you were at Friday night?"

"I... I didn't..."

"Oh, don't you dare lie to me! Don't you think you've done enough of that already?"

Will sighed. "Fine, dammit! I did go there, and I had a hell of a time, too!"

"You cheating bastard," she mumbled under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Get out," she said.

"JJ, we ca--"

"GET OUT," she screamed.

He did as told, slamming the door on the way out.

_All hurt inside, the wounded pride_

_Ooh what she went through for you_

_You cheated and lied, as her love slowly died_

_And her heart just broke in two_

_When she was with you, all along_

_Behind you right or wrong_

_She tried to hold on, hold on_

_But you went too far, and she's gone_

She collapsed onto the living room recliner, slumping in deep. Tears burned at the corner of her eyes, but she fought them off. She sighed deep, trying to clear her thoughts. She was independent, sometimes to a fault, but this was too much. This one struck straight to the core and she needed someone to talk to, someone to lean on. But who?

She leaned towards the coffee table and picked up the phone, dialing the first number that came to her mind.

"Hello," his deep voice answered on the second ring.

"Hotch," she asked, trying not to sound too shaky.

"Yes. Everything ok, Jay?"

She paused for a second. What was she doing? Why would she talk to her boss about this? I mean, it was Hotch, for Pete's sake! Why not Emily or Garcia? Hell, Morgan, Rossi, or even Reid would be a better choice! Well, maybe not Rossi or Reid, but...

"JJ?"

"Sorry. Actually, everything isn't ok, Hotch. I was wondering... I mean, if it isn't too much trouble... God, I just need to see someone right now."

"I'll be there in five minutes."

"You sure it isn't too muc--"

"Yes, I'm definitely sure. We're family, Jayje, you said so yourself."

"Thank you," she said before he hung up.

_And now it's over and her heart turns to stone_

_No time for pity, when her heart turns to stone_

_She cries a little as her heart turns to stone_

_She's that kind of woman_

_She'll do fine on her own_

Five minutes was overstating it, because he was there in four. He came to her apartment door and found that she had left it unlocked. Opening it slowly, he called out to her.

"JJ?"

"I'm in here," she said from the living room, "Come in."

He walked in and saw her sitting in the recliner. She looked ok. Her hair was as straight and perfect as ever, her clothes just as sharp. But there was something in her eyes. The normally warm pools of blue were icy and glazed over. Most men wouldn't have noticed such a small detail. Aaron Hotchner wasn't most men.

"Have a seat," she whispered, gesturing towards the sofa. He did as told. He thought about speaking, but decided against it.

"I'm sorry that I called you here," she said with a lifeless tone, "I don't really know what I was thinking."

"Where's Will," he asked, fearing the worst. She chuckled dryly.

"He won't be coming back," she responded.

"What happened?"

"He left his cell phone on the table," she said, pointing at the coffee table, "It rang and I answered..."

She couldn't finish the sentence. The tears started springing to her eyes again. Aaron's eyes darkened, already assuming what Will had done as the tears started to fall. Fury boiled deep down in him as he moved towards JJ, wrapping an arm around her and letting her use his shoulder. After a couple of minutes, she began to sniff and looked up into his amber eyes.

"Thanks," she said, forcing a smile through the tears.

"For what," he asked.

"Just for being here... For all of us. A typical boss wouldn't rush out here to support me. I appreciate it."

He gave her a hug and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Anytime, sweetheart," he whispered, "You going to be ok?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Just need to get some sleep."

Aaron let out a rare yawn.

"Yeah," he said with a chuckle, "Sleep sounds nice."

Assured that she'd be ok, he walked out to his car. But he had something to take care of before returning to his own bed.

_What you thought was a game_

_A game you were winning_

_Wouldn't go your way_

_Now you've lost what you had_

_And your back to the beginning_

_It's the price you have to pay_

_When she was with you, all along_

_Behind you right and wrong_

_She tried to hold on, hold on_

_But you went too far, and she's gone_

"Another bourbon," he called out, his accent more slurred than usual.

"We're going to be stock out if you keep ordering the same thing," the bartender joked as he handed him his fifth glass of the night. A man took a seat to the right of him, but he took no notice.

"Jack Daniels," the man said. The bartender handed him the glass and he swallowed hard.

"She was a good girl, you know," he said, "And you blow it for some one night stand?"

Will slammed down his glass and finally looked to see the burning eyes of Aaron Hotchner.

"Buzz off," he growled.

"Make me," Aaron challenged.

"Guys," the bartender grumbled, "If you are going to go, fine. But take it outside."

Will shrugged. Aaron, on the other hand, stood.

"With pleasure," he said, heading toward the door, "Coming, punk?"

Will had gotten himself stuck in a rock in a hard place and knew it, but there was no way that he was going to look like a wimp. He left his drink reluctantly and met Hotch outside.

"I'll even give you the first shot," Aaron quipped. Will, already half-drunk, threw a wild left hook that Aaron dodged easily, grabbing his arm and twisting it hard. Will yelped in pain before Aaron pushed him into the brick wall of the bar. Turning him around, he started to throw punches, starting with a right hook.

"That's for cheating," he yelled. Then a left hook.

"That's for lying!" Another righty.

"That's for hurting the second best girl that I've ever met!" And finally, a devastating uppercut right under the chin.

"And that's for making me chase you all the way to this shithole!" Satisfied with the crumpled mess that lay on the ground, Hotch walked back to his car and drove home.

_And now it's over and her heart turns to stone_

_No time for pity, when her heart turns to stone_

_She cries a little as her heart turns to stone_

_She's that kind of woman_

_She'll get by on her own_

_She hides her pain_

_But her heart turns to stone_

_No time for pity_

_When her heart turns to stone_

_She cries sometimes_

_As her heart turns to stone_

_She's that kind of woman_

_She'll get by on her own_

She came in the next day the picture of normalcy. Her skin was fresh, her face smiling, her eyes crystal clear. She was dressed as crisply as ever and was just as quick on her feet. Nothing seemed out of place, not even a strand of her blonde hair. No one could tell that anything happened last night, that anything was wrong, and that was just the way she liked it.

**AN: Please feel free to review! I usually don't like to pester my readers about reviewing, but I could really use some feedback! Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Last but not least, the fourth chapter of "Foreign Affairs." This one is set to one of the more popular Foreigner songs, "I Want To Know What Love Is" (also written by Mick Jones and Lou Gramm). Skipping a few lyrics again (not too many this time, though). You can probably guess how this chapter is going to go. I'll blame my recent bout of sappy fanfics on a few members of the CM community on (you know who you are, lol). Anyway, the disclaimers are the same as the previous three chapters. I'd like to thank everyone that gave this fic a chance, those who stuck with it through the long pause, and all of my reviewers (you all are too kind). And now, the conclusion of "Foreign Affairs":**

Over the next few months, both JJ and Aaron tried to move on. Aaron continued to struggle with life on his own, but he was starting to find his footing. He thanked JJ for that; her need for his support had awaken his will to live once again. The incident with Will remained their little secret, and the fact that she could only come to him for comfort strengthened what was already a strong bond. His feelings about her began to blur with time, however. JJ had originally been a colleague who he respected and supported when she needed it, but now it seemed that she may be something more. And yet despite all of his profiling experience, he couldn't tell if she felt the same way.

_I gotta take a little time_

_A little time to think things over_

_I better read between the lines_

_In case I need it when I'm older_

They did take their time... and then some. It didn't truly begin until the annual Super Bowl get-together, and even then it didn't seem like much. But it didn't take much to alert a trained bunch of profilers... or the oracle of love herself.

Observing all of the activities while sipping a colorful beverage, Penelope Garcia nudged Emily Prentiss' arm.

"Em," she whispered, "Em..."

"Yeah?"

Penelope gestured with her head towards Aaron and JJ at the other table. The two were completely oblivious, talking and laughing as if they were the only two in the bar.

"Ooh," Emily cooed, "She's twirling her hair. You know, she only does that..."

"... When's she's flirting," Penelope finished. "Yeah, sister, love is definitely in the air."

"Someone say love," Derek Morgan asked, approaching from the dance floor. He leaned back on the table between the two.

"Shhh. They may hear you."

"Who?"

"Oh, sugar, I love you, but you are clueless."

"Well then help me out, baby girl. Who're we talking about?"

"JJ and Hotch," Emily whispered, pointing toward the table.

"You serious?"

"Look for yourself, sweet cheeks."

"Huh. I'll be damned. He's actually smiling. Wait... wait, was that a chuckle? Did I just see Hotch chuckle? Thought that was extinct."

"It's a beautiful sight, isn't it, love?"

"Yes it is, mama. Yes it is."

"Don't think I've ever seen the man chuckle," Emily stated. Penelope and Derek laughed.

"What? I'm being serious."

"We know," they said in unison.

_Now this mountain I must climb_

_Feels like a world upon my shoulders_

_And through the clouds I see love shine_

_It keeps me warm as life grows colder_

The Big Apple. How many cases had they had in this city? How many had ended this fast and this successfully? So quickly, in fact, that Erin Strauss had told them to take an extra day and enjoy the city. Needless to say, the team was shocked and overjoyed at the prospect of a day off. But no one was as excited as Aaron. He grinned like a kid at a candy store. This was the perfect opportunity for the big first date. If only he could work up his nerve. Or maybe he didn't have to. JJ approached him in the hotel lobby.

"There's this place," she began, "on 32nd Street. It's just this little Italian restaurant called Vinnie's. Only been once, but the food was delicious and the environment is just very relaxing. I was wondering if we could go there tomorrow night for dinner?"

"Just the two of us," he asked.

"Perhaps," she teased, "I mean, New York's a big city. I'm sure the others can find somewhere else to eat."

"Ok."

"Great," she exclaimed, trying to hold back the excitement, "I'll be ready by 6:30."

_In my life there's been heartache and pain_

_I don't know if I can face it again_

_Can't stop now, I've traveled so far_

_To change this lonely life_

He paced his hotel room. The alarm clock read 6:10, but he was already ready to go. Well, physically, anyway. Mentally, however, was a different story. The last time he remembered being this nervous was trying out for that play in high school just so that he could meet Haley.

_Who are you kiddin', Hotch, _yelled the voice in the back of his head, _She's over ten years younger than you. What in the world makes you think that she would take an interest in you?_

"If she wasn't then she wouldn't have asked me out to dinner," he mumbled to himself.

_Haley wouldn't approve of this. You still love her, right?_

"Haley left me, not the other way around. I'll always love her, but I deserve to be happy, too."

6:25. He took a deep breath, took one final look in the mirror, and began the walk to JJ's room.

_I'm gonna take a little time_

_A little time to look around me_

_I've got nowhere left to hide_

_It looks like love has finally found me_

It was a wonder that his jaw didn't drop when she opened the door. She wore a red dress that fit every one of her curves perfectly. She had curled her hair, which lay softly on her shoulders, and her ocean blue eyes sparkled at him like they never had before. A splash of lavender perfume completed the ensemble.

"You look stunning," he said as she took his hand.

"Thanks. You're not too shabby yourself."

"Where'd you get the dress?"

"I take it with me on all of our cases. You know, just in case."

"Really?"

"No," she laughed, "And you call yourself a profiler?"

He opened the passenger door of the rental car, a black Ford Mustang, before climbing in himself.

_I wanna know what love is_

_I want you to show me_

_I wanna feel what love is_

_I know you can show me_

_I wanna know what love is_

_I want you to show me_

_And I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is_

_And I know, I know you can show me_

The dinner had been perfect. The small restaurant wasn't what he had envisioned for his first date with this lovely lady, but she was certainly right about it. It was a wonderful place, much like the woman staring back at him. So wonderful, in fact, that they had been there three hours before realizing what time it was and deciding to head back to the hotel to get some rest before the trip back home tomorrow morning. The ride back was deliberately slow. Aaron wanted to make the most of every second with JJ, and she wasn't complaining. By the time that they made it back to the door of her hotel room, he was ready to take the next step. As she reached in her purse for her room key, he spoke.

"JJ?"

"Yeah," she said, turning. Unable to wait another second, he leaned in and kissed her. A long kiss. And she was more than happy to oblige, kissing back with equal fervor. Finally the two separated, and his face gleamed.

"Thank you," he said.

"For what," she asked, confused.

"For teaching me to live again," he said.

She paused for a second, not knowing what to say. Then the obvious popped into her head.

"Thank you," she said.

"Why," he asked, equally puzzled.

"For being there when I need you most," she said, "Every time without fail."

She reached out to hug him and pecked him on the cheek.

"Good night," she whispered in his ear.

"Yes, a very good night, indeed."

And Aaron Hotchner couldn't help but think that there would be many more good nights as JJ shut the door behind her.

**AN: So that's it. I don't really know how I feel about this chapter. It's late at night and the chapter was long, so I feel that I rushed it a bit. Also don't know why I used first names throughout this fic, just sort of happened that way. Any feedback (positive or negative) would be greatly appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it (and that this chapter wasn't too hard to follow)!**


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